Emhoff Family Adventures: USA Road Trip 2008 Part I

During July and August 2008 we decided to take a road trip throughout the United States. The following is an essay Matt wrote in a writing workshop about this trip.

How to Go Crazy in 30 Days or Less, Part I

It all started with an innocent conversation. I had no idea what would take place over the next couple of weeks. While eating hamburgers and hot dogs before the big Fourth of July fireworks show in Long Beach, Washington, my wife’s cousin Russell inquired as to where our family would be traveling this summer (since we always plan some sort of adventure). I replied that we were looking at doing a circular route through the Dakotas and then through Wyoming and Montana. Then, without thinking, I said, “We could drive out and visit you?” Russell replied, “Seriously? You do know that I live in Washington D.C.?” I answered that I did and thought it might be a fun drive. Russell thought we would be crazy to drive across the country with three little kids just to come visit him. I took his words as a challenge.

So, two weeks later, my wife Becky and I loaded up our minivan with everything we would need for the next four weeks or so. We also somehow managed to squeeze our three kids in the van as well: Jacob, four and a half years old and a well seasoned traveler; Marcus, two years old and also a well seasoned (but not necessarily a very well-mannered) traveler; and Siena, at five months old the youngest adventurer. So far, so good. Now, let me explain how you can go crazy in 30 days or less.

Day One: We drove eleven hours today, just enough to make it half way across Montana. We decide to stay at a “free” campground right along a river. As we admired a beautiful sunset, we realized why the campground was free. Swarms of mosquitoes invaded our site, biting every living thing in their path, which included our children. Marcus seemed to get the worst of it, of course, and since he is mildly allergic to mosquitoes, ended up with giant welts in the morning.

Corn Palace...lots o corn

Day Two: Drive another twelve hours or so. We decide to go to the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota before eating dinner. We end up dragging three starving and tired children around the street.

Day Three: We have to make it past Chicago, I keep telling myself. We do make it, barely. After ten hours in the car, the kids are ready to get out and run around. Too bad we’re on the expressway in downtown Chicago. There’s nothing like driving through heavy traffic with screaming kids in the backseat.

I had time to take a picture while weaving through traffic

Who knew it was so hot at Notre Dame?

Day Four: We decide to take a nice, relaxing walk around the campus of Notre Dame. Bad idea. First off, it was about 90 degrees and 85 percent humidity. Second, the campus was a lot larger than my wife and I imagined. I ended up carrying Siena on my back in a backpack and carrying Marcus in my arms. If I wanted to sweat a gallon, then mission accomplished. My wife ended up dragging Jacob, since his legs somehow quit working.

Days Five through Seven: More driving and sight seeing in the humidity.

Kirtland, Ohio

Palmyra, New York

Having a blast at Fort Stanwix

Caught in a downpour in Concord, Mass.

Day
Eight: Never, ever try to drive in Salem, Massachusetts. There are no street signs. There are no straight streets. All we wanted was to buy a loaf of bread. I guess they don’t eat in Salem, since there are no stores either (at least we couldn’t find any). We end up driving around for an hour with no luck. We end up paying five dollars for a dinky loaf of spongy bread at the only convenience store we could find. All the while our three children are starving to death in the back seat and are very vocal about it. Somehow we find our way out of Salem and drive to Maine, just so we can say we’ve been there.

Salem, Mass. Note the beloved "Baby" Care Bear. It was still somewhat clean.

Rebecca Nurse House, Salem Witch Trials

Kennebunkport, Maine, The farthest north we'd go on this trip.

Maine

Day Nine: We learned two important lessons today: first, you shouldn’t visit Hersey, Pennsylvania with three little children before dinnertime. Unless you love dealing with crying children begging for more chocolate, I would not recommend this experience. Second, thunderstorm has a different meaning on the East Coast than the West Coast. When we pulled into our campground outside of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, the weather seemed to be calm and tranquil. That all changed by about 10 pm. The rained poured down on our tent. Lightning bolts tore through the trees around us. For about ten minutes, the thunder and lightning were so loud and bright, it was as if we were somehow transported back in time onto the battlefields of Gettysburg. I’ll admit, I was more than a bit scared. Needless to say, our three kids slept right through the whole ordeal.

Hershey, Pennsylvania

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Gettysburg, PA

Harper's Ferry, West Virginia

Days Eleven and Twelve: Fortunately, the weather is on our side as we take on Washington D.C. The weather is a pleasant 80 degrees with low humidity (i.e. we won’t be too drenched in sweat). Since the best way to tackle our nation’s Capital is by foot, that is what we decided to do. My wife carried Siena on her back, while I had Marcus on mine. Jacob alternated between walking and getting a ride in a stroller. Most people looked at us as if we were out of our minds. We rendezvous with my wife’s cousin Russell at the feet of Abraham Lincoln inside the Lincoln Memorial, with the feeling of accomplishment. By this time, though it was four in the afternoon and our children were exhausted. Jacob resorted to whining about how tired he was and Marcus decided that the floor of the Lincoln Memorial is as great as place as any to lie down and roll around. Though we had come through with our challenge of meeting Russell in Washington D.C., our trip was far from over.